Logged back in last night because my sister was heckling me about not seeing any of her pictures. That is all.
Once again, I’ve deactivated my facebook account. I have two weeks left until my graduate school application deadline and I have barely started writing my essays. I also have a 3-week 3-credit course that begins the day before my application deadline. Then I have a 3-day break before my spring semester begins.
I’ve applied for May graduation and I hope that this deactivation will allow me to focus more on what is necessary: getting the grades to graduate. The 49 days I had my account deactivated this past fall helped me get organized for the entire fall semester. I had one month of school free from the pesky distraction that facebook has come to be.
I still don’t blog as much as I used to; I guess my mind wanders too much to keep the thoughts on one subject long enough to draft a post. I am more articulate in my course online posts than I am in my own blogging. What does this say about my writing skills? I certainly lack the inspiration for writing on my own because of the many distractions that surround me.
October 14, 2009
I gave in to activating my Facebook account yesterday. Peer pressure is just not a good thing. After spending two months without it I still don’t feel the need to be on it. I think I just needed a good amount of time away to prove to myself that it was a distraction. And it was.
As soon as I logged in I felt the need to update my profile information as well as delete some people I haven’t talked to or seen in a long time. Creepers. Then I had to go and add all the new members of the sorority because I can’t remember any of their names.
But since that fateful evening of spending three hours on my account I have only spent a total of 20 minutes checking it. That’s good. I still don’t feel the urge to go on there. Before I deactivated my account it would be an automatism. If I was trying to remember something I had to do, before I could remember the actual link I would already be on Facebook checking out the Bumper Stickers.
Giving in doesn’t necessarily feel like a loss for me but I do feel slightly relieved. I am relieved of the pressure of my friends constantly belittling me because I was doing something for my well-being. I was also doing something noble because I know very few people that would ever do what I did just to somewhat improve on my grades.
Beware of your obsessions. They creep on you just as you would on Facebook.
It has been 49 days since I deleted my facebook. Technically I deactivated it. That means that I can login any time I want and my full profile will be there. So I can have it back just as if nothing changed. Except that my last wall comment would be from August.
I got rid of it because I was tired of being caught up in other peoples drama. I was tired of viewing everyone’s two thousand plus pictures. It was a waste of hours online that I could’ve been doing something else. Something more productive. Which really never happens.
So far I’ve kept my room entirely organized, actually got to keep up with my weekly readings for my classes, spend time doing absolutely nothing, not got enough sleep, start, spend time with my future husband. I guess its not much different with or without it at this point. I was just tired of being involved in everyone else’s life when I pay so little attention to my own.
Since I quit I’ve found that I like to cook. And that I’m decent at it. I’ve had more time to be creative. Although I don’t find much time to write. I feel like I am always hurrying my writing instead of developing. I’m forcing it to become something it wasn’t meant to be. Like this posting: it only took me about 10 minutes to write. It could’ve taken me longer to develop something more meaningful, to elaborate on many topics, to make it sound more blissful. Instead I wrote it straight through and I didn’t even edit.
I don’t have to worry about people tagging me in horrible pictures or censoring myself to my family. It one less thing that I have to worry about. I should have done this last semester before I took my GRE’s. It wouldn’t have made me study any better but I wouldn’t be as distracted as I was. Even though I thought this was going to be hard and even though I thought I was going to miss it–I don’t.
I’m fine without it.
This doesn’t mean I won’t get it back later. I most likely will. I probably most definitely will. When I graduate and move away I’ll want to be connected to my friends I’ve left behind–not all of them, but most.